What the heart wants....

Hmm...sometimes I have to wonder, what DOES my heart want?
For 7mos we've lived here; a huge jump from the only home and town we've ever known (well the kids and I at least). Then in one week we found a home to rent/own finally and at the same time, I get interviewed for a job I would love to have....in Florida! Not having worked outside of the home in about 12yrs, (save for a couple of short term temp assignments along the way), I have faced much difficulty re-entering the work force. Afterall, what do I know how to do besides raise children? LOL Moms understand how foolish THAT is! We ONLY manage a household, organize, schedule, transport and every other thing that the family needs. Oh I forgot, that's not WORK. Riiiiiiggghhhhtt. Whatever.

Anyway, for the first time in all these years I was actually ASKED to interview for a job as recreation director for an exclusive membership only rv park. I would love to have the job and I know that I could do it well. It would put my family closer to my dad who we all miss so much. As well as his fiancee who they are looking forward to meeting, their cat and dog who they keep seeing photos of and the POOL! If I hear one more time that they want to swim in Papa's pool..... LOL And it would be near Disney which my children long to see. My family has no issues with moving down there. Daddy would stay home during the day with the kids; something he's wanted for so long. He would work nights while I work days; no sitters needed.

What's the flip side? If the job is offered to me, do I really want to move my family AGAIN? And so soon? Is it better to make due where we are? Can we really leave my best friend after trekking all this way out here with her? She only returned here on the condition that we agreed to come too and that took us years. How would this change things? Or would it?

Tonight we are to get the keys to our new house. Today I'm also supposed to find out if the job is being offered to me. In theory, I should know about the job first given that it's a 2hr time difference.

So....what DOES the heart want?

Another week begins...

What a weekend. Busy busy busy and yet it doesn't feel like I got much done.

Let's see...on Saturday, I was up early and helped paint a bedroom. Visions of Decorating Cents danced through our heads LOL While the first coat dried, we kept all the kids busy playing inside and out. We wanted to get yard work done,but it wasn't really the weather for it; kind of windy. Plus there is weeding and such to be done first so it has to wait a few more days.
Saturday night, Daddy and I brought the kids to Golden Corral for the Princess's belated birthday dinner; her request. We knew that there was a carnival going on in the adjacent parking lot,but didn't tell the kids. Of course they were BEYOND excited when they saw it and begged to skip dinner in favor of corn dogs and rides,but we didn't take give in. Sadly for them, Baby was much too tired and too young to partake in such festivities and Daddy was "bezausted" from working both jobs all week so we went home after dinner with the promise of returning today.
This morning, Daddy worked very early and took a nap when he got home; at least he tried. Auntie and I brought Baby Boy for a walk to Lowes for paint and gardening things. Lovely day, sunny and very warm,but terribly windy. Sand whipping at your legs does NOT feel good. We got what we needed though and ran into most of Auntie's family while we were there LOL Funny how in 13yrs in the same house and neighborhood I rarely saw anyone we knew in the market and here you see the ones you know EVERYWHERE! I guess it really is a small town in its own way.

After the "three hour tour" of Lowes (literally!) we went home for lunch and to continue painting bedroom one. It came out nice and we had fun. Pssst..don't tell the kids but we painted tic tac toe and Hi and smileys on the wall before we painted over them LOL Who says grown-ups can't be silly too?? I should say that Daddy DID take the big kids to the carnival as promised and they all had fun even if the Princess DID get too confident about riding the thrill rides and make herself sick. Needless to say she was pretty quiet the rest of the evening.

Then after dinner, Daddy and the 3 boys & I went to see a house that is rent-to-own. It's cute; smaller than we'd like,but bigger than what we're used to. It's got the potential to add on which helps, it's at the end of a cul de sac, and in walking distance to both the middle and elementary schools which happen to be across the road from eachother (not the road the house is on); very convenient for them and for me. The house certainly isn't big enough for us to stay in for more than a couple of years or so unless we were to add on and even that's pushing it,but it would certainly work for now. We'll probably know tomorrow if we'll be getting it. There's still a *possibility* of my getting a job in Florida though in which case we'd be making a swift (and I mean SWIFT) move south very soon. In the meantime, we don't want to give this up so we'll see what happens.

Today I was very sad as I watched my friends shop for items for their respective homes and wanting so much a home for my own family. After all the obstacles we've faced these last 3yrs, we continue to hope and pray that the light at the end of the tunnel is nearer than we think and that it's NOT an oncoming train. :-)

Happy Monday !

Where did the week go?

Did you ever notice how sometimes time just passes too quickly? Amazing how much we can miss. Well, these last 2 weeks have been busy for us what with baby's 1st birthday, then Easter and then the princess's birthday. And of course the planets must be in alignment too because it was all topped off with Daddy having to work both jobs every day. Here it is midnight and he's just leaving work. This will continue throughout the weekend. He did manage to stop home for an hour between jobs today. The way the kids reacted upon seeing him, you'd think it had been months! Which makes me realize how much we can take for granted....
Three years ago, we were sitting comfortable financially, Daddy worked one job, I was home raising kids, we took vacation each year, we occasionally went out for dinner, Daddy would take the kids out for a Saturday matinee at least a couple of times a month and to the arcade nearly every week. We'd purchased a new home and there was talk of adding another baby to our family. Life was good and we were happy.
Then one day your world it turned upside-down. The comforts you took for granted suddenly and without warning, vanish from your daily life. One job becomes 3, no more outings for the kids, no more vacations, suddenly McDs once a month is a big to-do and you lose the new home.
There is stress, worry and fear. You do all you can to make things work, to keep the status-quo and you pray. Funny, for though we are not church-going folks, we do keep our faith. Even on shaky ground. Some days, that's really not easy,but God moves in mysterious ways. You learn pretty quickly who your friends really are. The children somehow adjust to disappointment without much fuss and by some illogical twist of fate, a child is born. A beautiful, wonderful child who brings hope to a seemingly hopeless situation. Is he the open window to a closed door?
After making a momentus decision to try to start life over somewhere new, we find it difficult and emotionally stressful to leave our old life behind. We miss our friends and family dearly and sometimes pine for what was. We cry, oh how we cry and then there are days when we want to,but the tears won't come. Through it all, we hope and we pray. Still holding on to the belief that God isn't trying to punish us with our great misfortune,but to teach us. Teach us what? Perhaps to appreciate more what we do have and what we didn't lose.
Today I was told bad news about our financial situation which brought me to crying to the stranger on the other end of the phone who shared the news with me. I couldn't help myself; the dam had burst. She was kind and shared with me her spiritual views and wished blessings upon us. She reminded me to keep the faith and that our God is a loving and benevolent God. He will open a window for us.
Shortly after that call, I was informed through another that there is a glimmer of hope for us where Daddy's career is concerned. Just a glimmer,but the first we've had in 3yrs. I'm one of those people who feels guilty asking anyone for anything so if you know me, you know that I rarely do it. Well, this includes asking God for his blessings and help. I did ask though. I just hope beyond hope that he answers in our favor.
Beyond everything, these last few years having been very trying on our spirits as a family. We've seen sadness and struggle in various manifestations and one ray of sunlight in the birth of our baby boy last year. We try to appreciate every little thing these days no matter how minor or how stressed we may feel. Some days that's pretty difficult,but there is always something to be grateful for. Maybe just as simple as waking up breathing.

Now as I sit here after midnight, I'm thankful that my family made it through another day. And may today be a better one, for us and for all of you.

My Baby is 12...

How did this happen? Wasn't it only yesterday that I received a call from my dr's office saying that I was expecting my first baby? Oh how vividly I remember! I was so nervous, excited, scared,but mostly overjoyed.
In some ways these 12yrs have been long; we've had our lion's share of challenges it seems. And yet, it seems like in many ways the years have been fleeting. One day you're potty training and the next your thinking about colleges. If anyone invents a way to bottle these precious moments, I'll happily be a customer!
I wouldn't trade these years with my girl; they've made us both who we are today.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl, I love you. And yes, you will ALWAYS be my Baby Girl.

A Rocky Mountain Easter

Let's see.....baskets, goodies, food. Ok that was our day. Just teasing.
The weather was beautiful, sunny and warm.
After Mommy & Auntie stayed up quite late the night before Easter getting everything ready, the kids woke early to find out if Mr.Bunny really did eat the carrots left for him (he did and left jelly beans with a thank you note!) and see if he left any treats. Of course he did! Did you know that he brings folding chairs, canteens and bike helmets? Oh and the tradtional jelly beans and chocolates as well; fear not. No doubt, my troops ate more than I was aware of. That's their job right?
Auntie even made special buckets o' fun for each child which was a wonderful surprise for them. And my baby boy had his first chocolate, and rest assured he IS his mommy's boy!
After checking out all the goodies, there was an Easter egg hunt. All had fun and what a great job Auntie did hiding eggs in a backyard that has no grass! Kudos to Auntie!
After an unconventional dinner of steak and chicken, the day drew to a close. Happy children, happy grown-ups. A nice way to begin another blessed year.

Well, here it is....my first ever blog. And what better day to begin than Easter. 'Tis the season of new beginnings is it not?

This evening, I sit listening to 3 of my 5 blessings chatter sweetly amongst themselves waiting for peaceful slumber and sweet dreams of jelly beans and chocolate bunnies to overtake them. Ahhhh the loveliest sound....

Ok back to reality. The TRUTH is that I'm sitting here shushing them every few minutes with the threat of "the Easter Bunny won't come if you're not asleep" as I sit fighting to stay awake so I can go create this year's Easter baskets. Don't get me wrong, I honestly LOVE making them and spoiling the kids like this,but hearing them quarrel and tattle on one another doesn't make me feel all that cheerful or like spoiling them. But who can resist a big blue-eyed 3 yr old coming in to tell you, "Mommy, Gabbie won't be quiet. Are you going to write to the Easter Bunny and tell him not to come bring her treats too?"

Hmm...maybe eating the delicious carrots that Eli left for Mr. Easter Bunny will help. Must remember to hide the note too and have Mr.Easter Bunny leave a thank you for the carrots.

Sending Easter Blessings to you all. May this be the beginning of a very special year.